The Scent of Flowers

By: Bay, 8th Grade

The funeral was on a Thursday, Russell’s least favorite day of the week. He had walked into the church, and was immediately overwhelmed by the sickening scent of dozens of flower bouquets. Clusters of people dressed in black were milling around the pews, whispering to each other over the offered hors d’oeuvres about the recent death. Striding down the flower-petal littered aisle, feeling as though he was the ring-bearer at some sick wedding, Russell’s gaze was fixed upon the family members crowded around the open casket.

            Kevin Reid stood above his brother’s corpse, his nails digging into the polished wood of the coffin. His mother stood next to him, wiping her tears with an obviously over-used handkerchief. His father stood a farther distance away, near the closed half of the coffin, his lips pressed into a tight line, his hands stuffed in his suit’s pockets. It was a sad sight if Russell had ever seen one. But, even though he felt great sorrow for the family, there was one member in particular he wanted to talk to.

            “Hey…” Russell whispered, placing his hand gently on Kevin’s shoulder. The brunette stiffened, his grip upon the casket tightening. “H-hey…” He choked out, trying to disguise the lump in his throat, despite knowing that he didn’t need to – Russell wasn’t enough of an idiot to think that he wouldn’t be crying.

            “I’m really sorry, man…” Russell murmured, his eyes narrowing as his gaze shifted down to Justin’s face as he lay peacefully in the coffin. “I know you loved your brother a lot… and he loved you, too…” “I know.” Kevin said, his voice coming out slightly distorted. “I know…” Uselessly, he squeezed his eyes shut to try and stop the onslaught of tears, but they came anyway, leaking out of the corners of his eyes and dropping on to the jacket his brother had been dressed in. Opening his eyes with a gasp, shocked at seeing his tears soil Justin’s corpse, Kevin took a few steps back from the coffin, burying his face in his hands and starting to sob. His breath came out in hurried gasps, Russell watching his shivering friend in what he took to be an accommodating silence. 

            Kevin’s parents watched their crying son, expressions of numbed horror etched upon their faces. His mother gave a slight nod to Russell as she dabbed at the mascara that was drizzling down her face, and he understood it to mean that he was to comfort his friend.

            “Hey…” He murmured, gently placing a hand on Kevin’s shuddering back, in what he meant to be a soothing gesture. Kevin, however, jerked up at his touch, as though an electric current had coursed through him, and had whirled around and slapped Russell’s hand away before he could do anything. Russell stumbled back a few steps, shocked at the genuine terror that resonated from the brunette’s silvery eyes. He wasn’t sure what could have caused Kevin to look so fearful, but he did know that he never wanted to experience it for himself.

     “Kevin-” His father began, but was silenced by a swift, frantic glance from Russell, from which he was silently begging, ‘No, let me handle this.’ Kevin’s dad gave the slightest of nods, to which Russell grimly smiled back at.

     “Kevin…?” He whispered, echoing the brunette’s father. He took a tentative step towards his quivering friend, who had his face buried within his hands, crying, once again. “Hey, Kevin…?” With an outstretched hand, Russell prepared himself for the possibility of another violent outburst, but was instead granted with the opposite. Kevin grabbed his hand gently, and pushed it away.  

     Suddenly, he flung himself at Russell, burying his face in his shoulder and weeping heavily. Shocked, and not knowing what to do at first, he simply allowed Kevin to cry, whose arms were wrapped so tightly around Russell’s neck he felt as though he couldn’t breathe.

“Russell…!” The brunette gasped, his body wracked with sobs. Taken by surprise, Russell was unsure as to what to do, but after a brief visual cue from Kevin’s mother (shown by her miming a hug), he soothingly placed his hands on Kevin’s back to try and calm him.

“Hey, it’s alright… calm down, you’re just overwhelmed by the funeral… shh, it’s okay…” Russell murmured, though it was hard to hear over Kevin’s cries. “I’m so sorry, Russell – I just don’t know what to do!” The brunette sobbed, his words broken occasionally by heaving gasps. “I know, Kevin, I know…” Russell soothed, trying to fight the break he knew was about to shatter his voice.  To see his usually composed friend falling apart like this was catastrophic.

“No, you don’t know…” Kevin mumbled, so low that only Russell could hear. But, before he could say anything in response, Kevin had let go of him and stumbled over to his parents, who welcomed him with small, watery smiles, happy to see their son in the company of a good friend. In perplexed silence, Russell joined them at the casket, his gaze occasionally shifting over to his friend, who was staring down at his brother’s body, his eyes narrowed in a mixture of anger and sadness, with the occasional shuddering gasp escaping his chapped lips. Russell fixated upon his steely eyes, which were clouded over with a lack of emotion. What were those eyes hiding?

“Sorry I didn’t come to the services…” Russell murmured, embarrassed. They were sitting in the hallway outside of the viewing room, both being unable to handle the crowds of people and, especially for Kevin, the sight of the body. The brunette gave an unintelligible mumble in response, and proceeded in loosening his tie, allowing it to dangle on his chest.

“It’s fine…” He sighed, staring at the floor.

“No, it’s not – I really should have been there…” Russell said, staring down the hallway, his hands clasped tightly.

“Look, it’s fine, and it doesn’t matter, okay?” Kevin grumbled, his gaze strong enough to burn a hole in the floor.

“I was stupid. I slept in this morning, I should have set my alarm, but I didn’t.”  Russell continued, as though he was oblivious to Kevin’s comment.

“I said it was okay, so just drop it, alright?!” Kevin suddenly snapped, causing Russell to jump. He held his hands protectively in front of him, his eyes wide.

“Kevin… are you okay?” He asked quietly, lowering his hands when he saw his friend fall back against the wall and close his eyes, sighing in an agitated way.

“No, I’m not okay!” He snarled from between clenched teeth, his nails working hard to find purchase on the gritty tile floor.

“What’s wrong…? I know it’s gotta be something to do with Justin, but I still wanna know… Please, Kevin? I’d get it if you didn’t want to tell me, though… But if you do, I’ll try to understand, I promise!” Russell pleaded, realizing that he was talking so fast out of fear. Kevin had been out of it today, and Russell was scared for him.

“No!” Kevin suddenly cried, grabbing Russell tightly by the shoulders and shaking him. “You would never understand! That’s what everyone always says, that they’ll try to get what I’m saying, but they never do! As if you would be able to understand how I feel!” The brunette growled, his eyes blazing. Russell stared back at his friend, trying to ignore the urge to cry. Kevin’s eyes softened slightly when he saw the ghostly tears swimming within Russell’s aquamarine eyes, and he let go of his shoulders, his body trembling with rage as he turned to face away from his friend.

Russell shivered violently, allowing a few stray tears to escape down his cheeks. Giving a slight sniffle, he murmured, “I’m sorry, Kevin…” as he knuckled away the water in his eyes.

“You shouldn’t be. I’m the one who caused all this.” The brunette growled, standing up and beginning to pace back and forth, a look of urgency painted across his features.

“W-what? No, you didn’t, Kevin…” Russell protested, his voice shaky with panic. 

     “No, no, no… it was me, it was my fault… I did this…” Kevin murmured, more to himself than to Russell. At this, the other stood up, grabbing Kevin by the shoulders and shaking him gently.

“Kevin, get a hold of yourself. Look, whatever you’re claiming is your fault, I’m sure it isn’t.” Russell commanded, pausing to wipe his eyes again, though for some reason they kept refilling with tears.

“No, Russell, you don’t get it! I killed Justin!” Kevin cried, his voice breaking when it reached his brother’s name.

Time seemed to stop as the thought registered in Russell’s brain.

“…what?” He gasped, his gaze locked with his friend’s. “No, you didn’t…” He mumbled, knowing deep within his brain that he was just trying to convince himself more than he was Kevin.

“Yes, I did… It was me… I thought I was helping him!” Kevin retorted, a hysterical grin beginning to form on his now tear-stained face.

“N-no…” Russell breathed, releasing his friend and beginning to pace just as the brunette had been doing. “You might think it was you, but it couldn’t have been… It just couldn’t have…” He stopped, staring into Kevin’s grey eyes. “Could it?”

Kevin gave a watery smile, and nodded. “Yeah…” He said, his voice coming out distorted.

“No, no, no, no, NO!” Russell shouted, beginning to pace faster. “Kevin, it wasn’t you! It WAS NOT you! I thought Justin died from an overdose?!” He cried, feeling his eyes prickle with tears once more. He wanted to believe that this wasn’t happening, that Kevin was just playing some sick joke, and that he would soon be saying, ‘Ha! I got you!’ and Russell would get mad (‘That wasn’t funny, Kevin!’), but they would laugh about it anyway…

“He did…” Kevin sobbed, his voice tinged with hysteria. “But I was the one who did it!” Suddenly, he felt himself being grabbed by Russell and pinned against the wall.

“Kevin, tell me what happened!” Russell whispered dangerously, his eyes narrowed, the tiny hope that this was all a lie still fluttering around his brain.

“I swear, I didn’t mean to kill him!” The brunette cried, shaking his head as tears dripped down his clammy face. “H-he couldn’t sleep, an-and I thought that I was helping, I really did! I slipped him some sleeping pills when he wa-wasn’t looking, and he never woke up!” Kevin said, his voice trembling as he began to sob freely.

“Kevin…” Russell breathed, his grip loosening as he saw his friend falling apart in front of him. The brunette wrapped his arms around the other, capturing him in an affectionate hug as he cried his eyes out. For the second time that day, Russell didn’t know what to do. His best friend had just confessed to the possible murder of his own brother… He wanted so badly to comfort him, but at the same time knew that he shouldn’t. Kevin… a murderer? He couldn’t stomach the thought. But, still… he shouldn’t console him; he should turn him in… Russell didn’t want to think about that right now.  But he was being forced to.

     “Please, Russell…” Kevin whispered. “You can’t let anyone know…” He begged, grabbing at Russell’s collar. “I feel so guilty, knowing it was my fault, but…” He faltered, his voice breaking on the last syllable. “No one can ever know… Promise me, Russell. Promise you won’t tell!”

     Russell stared at his friend, at the beads of sweat collecting on his forehead and the terrified, pleading look in his eyes. “I…” He began, his thoughts racing, confused as to what was right and what was wrong. “I…” He tried again.

     “Please, Russell… please…” Kevin whispered, his grip on Russell’s collar tightening. With a shivering sigh, Russell answered, “I promise.”      

     A watery grin broke Kevin’s petrified mask, and tears of what Russell assumed to be relief and joy spilled out of his iron-colored eyes. “Thank you…” He gasped, apparently unaware of the tears running down his cheeks.

     Releasing Russell’s collar, Kevin slid to the ground, a triumphant half-smile etched upon his tearstained face. Russell sat next to him, frowing, his heart pounding relentlessly in his chest. He could barely believe what he had just heard. But he knew it was true. And even though he had promised Kevin, he knew within his heart that he had to turn him in. There seemed no other option.

The trial was on Friday. Russell sat and waited until he was called up to the bench, where he explained how Kevin had confessed to killing Justin. As he spoke, he avoided meeting Kevin’s shocked, terrified, and hurt face that stared up at him. 

Russell was sure he flinched along with Kevin when the judge slammed the gavel down, the one, horrible word that he had just uttered echoing around the courtroom like a gunshot.

“Guilty.”

Russell watched in horror as Kevin’s parents sobbed over their other son, the one who wasn’t lying motionless in a coffin, the one who had just been found guilty of manslaughter and was being sent to a juvenile detention center. He watched as the police cracked the handcuffs upon his wrists, and led Kevin out of the courthouse, a look of empty sorrow painted upon the brunette’s face as he was led to his fate.

Following the rest of the occupants of the courtroom outside, he stood upon the courthouse steps next to Kevin’s parents, watching in terror as Kevin was put into the police car without a struggle. Before driving off, Russell caught a glimpse of Kevin’s blank face staring out of the window, tears running down his cheeks, his eyes screaming, “I thought you promised me, Russell…”.

Deaf to the whine of the police siren, his gaze locked upon the tearstained face of his friend, the murderer, as he was taken away forever, Russell broke through the crowd of people, running as fast as his legs would take him after the police car. Ignoring the shouts of people behind him, he ran to try and catch what had been taken from him, so he could be able to say, “I did promise you, Kevin – and I kept it!”.

But he wasn’t fast enough. Russell slowed to a stop, his breaths coming out in hurried gasps, his eyes stinging as the police car dissappeared into the distance. Cursing, he began to cry hot, angry tears, feeling angry with himself at everything that had happened. He could have stopped this, if he had only been able to see that doing this would hurt not only Kevin, but himself as well.

As he stormed home in tears, a wave of memory washed over him. Of a brown-haired boy with pleading silver eyes, of a coffin surrounded by hundreds of flowers, of an empty, imploring face staring out of a car window…

Crying himself to sleep that night, Russell couldn’t help but ponder over whether or not what he did was forgivable. Was Kevin lying in bed right now, wondering the same thing? Russell hoped so.

That night, he dreamed of platinum eyes, and woke to the burning scent of flowers.