To Find One’s Mind
By: Bay, 6th grade
I hate this place. The calm nurses who guide me around the large, blank building. The screams and cackles coming from the other rooms as I’m lead to the bathroom. Even the soft white pillows that make up the walls of my room. I live in the Agata City Insane Asylum. I was accepted here when my wife told the police that I had been seeing visions of a young girl (who is now supposedly dead) who claimed to be my sister. And, within hours, I was shown to my room by one of the many nurses.
“Sir? It’s time for your walk.”
A woman in a crisply ironed, starched uniform says as she opens the cushy door to my room. She walks over and grips my hand tightly. I scowl, and remove my hand from her iron grip. She regains control by clutching my elbow and leading me outside. We walk silently down the hallway, a fake-looking smile wedged on the nurse’s face, her dried-up lipstick shining in the weak glare of the over head lights.
I wince as I hear yells and cackles of: “You’re wrong! Wrong!!!” and: “G-get out of here! Sh-she’ll only visit when you’re gone!” The others in this asylum terrify me as I trudge down the hallway. Those are the ones like me. Those are the ones who are unsure whether or not what they’re seeing is real or not, or just one of those figments of imagination that disappear just as you’re about to snatch them from the air and shove them in your heart.
We finally get to the door that has a sign that reads ‘The Garden’ on it in neat, printed letters. The nurse opens the door and leads me to the small stream that leads through the bushes and trees. I give a sigh and stand at the waters’ edge, staring deep into its silvery abyss.
I see a small head form at the bottom of the stream, its mouth whispering unheard words. Locks of hair fall on the shoulders that are clothed by a black hoodie. Then, I hear a female voice say, “Lupo, I’ll find you… I won’t rest until I do.” The room around me begins to swirl, and the vision at the bottom of the stream vanishes. I reach for my head, my fingers weaving in between my brown locks.
The girl was back.
I fall to my knees, my head burning in pain.
“Oh, God…” I wince as sweat beads on my forehead.
“Oh, God, she’s back!” I scream, falling to my side. The nurse rushes over as quickly as she can, her tightly-wrapped skirt restricting her movement. She kneels next to me and tries to calm me down, but I scratch out at her with my hand. She retreats, her eyes shuddering with the effort to prevent herself from crying in fear.
“Get away!” I scream, and break out in a run for the door. I fling it open and charge towards my room. I can’t stand it. I can’t tell whether all this is real or not. I charge into my soft room and slam the door behind me. I crawl into the corner farthest from the door and pull my knees to my chest. I bury my face in my hands and sigh, my body covered in sweat and pulsating with heat.
I scream, and pound my fists against the wall. Everyone can hear me, but I don’t care. I curse and yell and do anything to get my frustration out. This is all run-of-the-mill for the workers here. I bite my lip in fury. I feel like one crazy little thought that makes up the mind of a serial killer. I feel so insignificant and angry.
I collapse in a heap, and begin to sob. I lay there for about fifteen minutes, until I slip out of consciousness into a restless sleep.
I jerk into a sitting position as my eyes snap open. I look around. I’m in a dark pit. I’m falling. I look below me, seeing a thousand knives positioned to spell out words. I scream as I read the words. They read, “No one believes you. You’re insane. Your life is about to end.” I close my eyes as I fall into the knives, everything going black.
My eyes flutter open as I’m shaken.
“Are you okay? You were talking in your sleep about knives or something.”
The voice is soft and kind. I look to my side, and see a young woman with hair the color of a caramel. Her eyes are a light green.
“I think I’m alright.” I say.
The woman smiles, and removes her hand from my shoulder.
“Go back to sleep.” She says, and I nod.
I close my eyes and give a sigh, and roll over onto my side.
“Good…” The woman says as I begin to drift into unconsciousness.
“Sleep deeply. You won’t feel it when you die.”
My eyes snap open and I begin to scream. A face appears above me, with the image of a barcode on its right cheek.
“Holy crud, are you alright?!” The face is that of a girl, with dark brown hair and soft grey eyes, like me.
I scream and skitter away like a frightened crab on a beach. “Who are you?!! Are you going to kill me?!” I bark, holding an arm in front of my face in a feeble attempt to protect myself.
“No! No, of course not! I’m your sister!” The girl tells me, and a small smile crosses her face.
“No, you’re not! Get away from me! You’re a vision that I’m having!!” I stand up, and she follows. She takes a step towards me, and I step back.
“Look, its fine. You just had a nightmare.” She coos, stepping forward a few more times. I retreat, and then turn around and break into a run, crashing into a cement wall, falling to the ground as blood leaks from my wound.
“Sir, it’s time for your walk.” A voice breaks my thoughts as I jerk out of a light, restless sleep. She walks over and grips my hand tightly. I scowl, and remove my hand from her iron grip. Hadn’t this happened before? Was it déjà vu?
“Ma’am? Where have I been for the past hour?” I ask quietly, looking down at the tiled floor that had recently been polished.
“Why, you’ve been in your room the whole time, just sitting in the corner asleep. You talked in your sleep, too. Something about knives and death and other things like that.” The nurse says happily, as if that was a good thing.
How could I have been asleep all this time? Hadn’t I woken up? I give a sigh, and run my free hand through my brown locks, my fingers grazing the barcode on my right cheek.
My name is Lupo Yuroal. And I know for sure I’m insane.